Syllables...hard...too much...suddenly.
Showing posts with label clothes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clothes. Show all posts
Monday, February 20, 2012
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Christmas Gifts Part II
Hi everyone,
Back to the promised Christmas gifts. For now, this post is going to be a girl-centric one, but the next one will be a general gift guide.
I've been having a hard time finding presents that are something other than jewelry, purses, etc. that aren't TERRIBLE. Seriously, who wants a market bag when you can buy one at Kroger? Or a leg roller massager that looks totally useless or a GROCERY LIST MAKER, "for when you just aren't spending enough time working to provide for your family, here's something that will complicate the simple task of making a grocery list BUT IT IS A GADGET SO IT WILL BE FUN!"
So I've kept it simple and pretty. This post is going to focus on jewelry and leather goods/purses. I've tried to pick things I think are objectively attractive, so even if I thought something was super cool and avant-garde and I'd totally like it, I kept it to things that I think most any girl would like (and that I would like too).
A quick note on what accessories/clothes NOT to buy women: belts, hats, socks, and pants. Belts can imply that she needs to keep her pants up higher, or that she's chubby and you'd like her to emphasize her waist more. Only if she has specifically said she would like a belt are you to go buy her a belt (the only exception to this being Hermes belts). Hats are really tricky to size and also find a shape and style appropriate for your face. She also might not like to wear hats, much less belts, period. Socks--totally boring. They say "I'm unimaginative and didn't try at all." Pants...just a strange present, and also really hard to find in the right size. Shirts, blouses, even dresses in the right cut are a thumbs up. Scarves are definitely always a hit, and shoes are okay if you include a gift receipt and get the right size. There is an easy way to figure out her shoe size: look in her closet. However, don't try to buy her heels based on her running sneakers. Girls may wear different sizes for different types of shoes, so if you're trying to get her flats, look at some she already has; if you're trying to buy her stilettos, look at the highest pair of heels she has in her closet. Now then, back to what TO buy!
First up, I love this ring from Kate Spade on sale for only $39.99. (A tip for ring buying: size does matter. If your lady has, what seem to you, to be unusually slender fingers then this ring won't fit her because it only comes in sizes 6-8. If you're unsure what her size is and she wears rings, just sneak one she doesn't wear much away to any store that sells jewelry (Macy's, Jared's, a jewelry appraiser) and ask them to size it for you. This is free, and they'll whip out what looks like a key ring but with long, tapered cylinders on it that are the different finger sizes and try the ring on them until it fits.) Anyway, here's the ring:
It's made of glass and 14kt gold, and it's so so lovely.
Next, also from Kate Spade, I couldn't resist this "A rose is a rose" tautological idiom bangle on sale for $44:
The last jewelry item from Kate Spade is this ultra-trendy bow ring, that also comes in gold plating and clear plastic. It costs $39.99 on sale:
This 30" necklace for $32 from Francesca's Collections not only compliments the ring above it, but is a great gift for tall women and matches just about everything.
Getting super fancy now from Nordstrom's, on sale for $82.90, is this really pretty Nadri cubic zirconium bangle that is sure to stun anyone (in the best way possible). It's available in both rose gold (top) and gold (bottom):
Changing gears a little bit, this lovely jewelry box from Anthropolgie on sale for $54.99 makes a sweet present on its own, but would also be an impressive, thoughtful way to present your gift and really show the time and thought you put into it. Presentation can be everything:
On to the leather goods and bags section now!
First up, if your lady has elegant, classic, and refined tastes, she'll definitely love this wallet from Kate Spade on sale for $75:
Found on the Nordstrom's website, this wallet from Fossil for $32.90 comes in two adorable prints and is sure to be a hit--just make sure your lady doesn't already have a wallet (in good condition) that she loves/paid big bucks for and doesn't want to trade out yet:
Keeping with the color blocking trend that's going to be hot for spring and summer, this cross-body bag for $44.00 from Francesca's matches almost any outfit:
This $44.00 poppin' pink bag is too cute, and the gold chain sets off the fuchsia tone perfectly. Also from Francesca's:
Finally, if you don't feel comfortable picking something so personal for her, then LUSH always has amazing gift packages from $20.00 to ones like this one for $49.95 (and this one's for couples, even):
Or, for $22.95 from Lush something smaller and more feminine:
Alright, that should give you guys enough to peruse for now. Part III coming soon, with ideas for men, parents, and general cool swag!
Happy shopping!
Back to the promised Christmas gifts. For now, this post is going to be a girl-centric one, but the next one will be a general gift guide.
I've been having a hard time finding presents that are something other than jewelry, purses, etc. that aren't TERRIBLE. Seriously, who wants a market bag when you can buy one at Kroger? Or a leg roller massager that looks totally useless or a GROCERY LIST MAKER, "for when you just aren't spending enough time working to provide for your family, here's something that will complicate the simple task of making a grocery list BUT IT IS A GADGET SO IT WILL BE FUN!"
So I've kept it simple and pretty. This post is going to focus on jewelry and leather goods/purses. I've tried to pick things I think are objectively attractive, so even if I thought something was super cool and avant-garde and I'd totally like it, I kept it to things that I think most any girl would like (and that I would like too).
A quick note on what accessories/clothes NOT to buy women: belts, hats, socks, and pants. Belts can imply that she needs to keep her pants up higher, or that she's chubby and you'd like her to emphasize her waist more. Only if she has specifically said she would like a belt are you to go buy her a belt (the only exception to this being Hermes belts). Hats are really tricky to size and also find a shape and style appropriate for your face. She also might not like to wear hats, much less belts, period. Socks--totally boring. They say "I'm unimaginative and didn't try at all." Pants...just a strange present, and also really hard to find in the right size. Shirts, blouses, even dresses in the right cut are a thumbs up. Scarves are definitely always a hit, and shoes are okay if you include a gift receipt and get the right size. There is an easy way to figure out her shoe size: look in her closet. However, don't try to buy her heels based on her running sneakers. Girls may wear different sizes for different types of shoes, so if you're trying to get her flats, look at some she already has; if you're trying to buy her stilettos, look at the highest pair of heels she has in her closet. Now then, back to what TO buy!
First up, I love this ring from Kate Spade on sale for only $39.99. (A tip for ring buying: size does matter. If your lady has, what seem to you, to be unusually slender fingers then this ring won't fit her because it only comes in sizes 6-8. If you're unsure what her size is and she wears rings, just sneak one she doesn't wear much away to any store that sells jewelry (Macy's, Jared's, a jewelry appraiser) and ask them to size it for you. This is free, and they'll whip out what looks like a key ring but with long, tapered cylinders on it that are the different finger sizes and try the ring on them until it fits.) Anyway, here's the ring:
It's made of glass and 14kt gold, and it's so so lovely.
Next, also from Kate Spade, I couldn't resist this "A rose is a rose" tautological idiom bangle on sale for $44:
These coral earrings from Francesca's Collections are an oval shape that is universally flattering and are super affordable at $18:
Getting super fancy now from Nordstrom's, on sale for $82.90, is this really pretty Nadri cubic zirconium bangle that is sure to stun anyone (in the best way possible). It's available in both rose gold (top) and gold (bottom):
Also really shiny and pretty, this unusual chandelier earring set from Nordstrom for $31.90 would make a wonderful present:
2.5" H x 4.5" W x 2" D
On to the leather goods and bags section now!
First up, if your lady has elegant, classic, and refined tastes, she'll definitely love this wallet from Kate Spade on sale for $75:
This green bag from Francesca's Collections is a fun and vibrant shade of green that can be worn across your body, on your shoulder, or carried by two straps. $54.00:
Found on the Nordstrom's website, this wallet from Fossil for $32.90 comes in two adorable prints and is sure to be a hit--just make sure your lady doesn't already have a wallet (in good condition) that she loves/paid big bucks for and doesn't want to trade out yet:
Keeping with the color blocking trend that's going to be hot for spring and summer, this cross-body bag for $44.00 from Francesca's matches almost any outfit:
This $44.00 poppin' pink bag is too cute, and the gold chain sets off the fuchsia tone perfectly. Also from Francesca's:
Finally, if you don't feel comfortable picking something so personal for her, then LUSH always has amazing gift packages from $20.00 to ones like this one for $49.95 (and this one's for couples, even):
Included: Avobath Bath Bomb 6.3 Oz., Each Peach (And Two's A Pair) Massage Bar 2.2oz, The Olive Branch Shower Gel 3.3 Fl Oz, Snow Globe Soap 3.5 Oz,So White Bath Bomb 3.1 Oz, You've Been Mangoed Bath Melt 1oz, None Of Your Beeswax Lip Balm 10g.
Or, for $22.95 from Lush something smaller and more feminine:
Included: Snow Fairy Shower Gel 3.3 Fl Oz, Shimmy Shimmy Sparkle Bar 1 Oz, Angel's Delight Soap 2.1oz.
Alright, that should give you guys enough to peruse for now. Part III coming soon, with ideas for men, parents, and general cool swag!
Happy shopping!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Weird faces
Sometimes when browsing the vast online shopping realm that is the internet, I happen upon an article of clothing that I just cannot take seriously, like this:
Because everyone wants long strings coming from their waist that cover their crotch like an ineffective loin cloth. We call it "Pocahontas in Tatters". Or, "The Fugly Waist Beard". This beauty brought to you from Urban Outfitters, $69.
But the real treasure is crazy model faces. You know, when you can just tell they are confused because the photographer has told them "SMIZE! IMAGINE HOT SEXY PENGUINS SLIPPING DOWN A WATERFALL OF SENSATION!" Or they are fed up after hundreds of takes, scores of clothing changes, and lots of bright lights. Or, sometimes, they just don't have a clue. This of course happens all the time in regular print ads in magazines or newspapers, but often goes unnoticed in online shopping. No more!
Behold:
Now for sheer weirdness that actually shows what her face looks like 70% of the time in ads and on the runway:
I had a pretty good time writing this post because this is something I've been thinking about for a while. If you guys find any crazy faces of your own while browsing, let me know in the comments and I'll post them up!
Happy shopping,
Alexandra
They hid her face to preserve her anonymity.
Because everyone wants long strings coming from their waist that cover their crotch like an ineffective loin cloth. We call it "Pocahontas in Tatters". Or, "The Fugly Waist Beard". This beauty brought to you from Urban Outfitters, $69.
But the real treasure is crazy model faces. You know, when you can just tell they are confused because the photographer has told them "SMIZE! IMAGINE HOT SEXY PENGUINS SLIPPING DOWN A WATERFALL OF SENSATION!" Or they are fed up after hundreds of takes, scores of clothing changes, and lots of bright lights. Or, sometimes, they just don't have a clue. This of course happens all the time in regular print ads in magazines or newspapers, but often goes unnoticed in online shopping. No more!
Behold:
<Insert Halo Here>
"I am angelic, virginal, pure....hamburgers....I mean, serenity! Innocence! You can have it all if you buy this bow! Just not my hamburger. Get your own!"
The Aggressively Over-bleached "Sex Pot"
"Yeah, I'm sexy. Seducing you right now. You are so convinced. You are mesmerized..."
The "WE ARE SO COOL" Girls who secretly hate each other
Girl on the Left: OMG I'm so over it but LOOK AT THIS NECKLACE!
Girl on the Right: UGH how DARE she be in this shot with me can't she see I'm WORKING IT HERE?!
Girl on the Left: *Eye roll*
Girl on the Right: Rude.
Miss Attitude
Buy this dress or I mess you up with my awkward hand-claw. Be afraid.
Depressed Elegance
This dress makes me so happy. No, really.
Ophelia
Mayhaps Hamlet shalt returneth if I but pull my hair in a forlorn manner. Mayhaps thou wilst purchase this dress?
Wounded Chic
This totally vintage, used head wrap from the Civil War can be yours for just $29.99! Natural dyes only.
The Horse
Ignore the fact that I look like a horse, just focus on how sexy I am. Now buy this dress. Put the YAY in NEIGH!
Dazed and Confused
...uh...huh?
Some of my all-time favorites, though, come from browsing "club wear" websites. They have less money to pay more professional models and give more direction like "Look sexy!", "Look HOT!", "Imagine you're seeing a hot guy you wanna go home with!" Or at least that's what I imagine they've been told when I see the following facial expressions:
Me....ow?
Hey boys. I have to pee. One sec.
This is a real person, not a wax figurine. She will bring all the boys to the yard, someday.
Honorable Mention goes to Coco Rocha, who for sheer weirdness of face I could not leave out of this post. She's an international, incredibly famous supermodel, considered very beautiful by many. I think she looks crazy. She's normally a great model though. As the infallible Tyra Banks has said, "Coco is not afraid of the ugly/pretty." Yes, there is such a thing as going "ugly/pretty," and unlike retard, you must go full. I think Coco was blessed with the instinctual ability to do so in most of her photos.
Sexy Gone Strange
Ello, lovaz. I am selling nail polish, een case you ver not avare. I am squeenting my eyez to make zem look sexee. Alzo, steeking my finger in my mouth vill tempt you to buy zees nail polish.
Now for sheer weirdness that actually shows what her face looks like 70% of the time in ads and on the runway:
"The Banshee"
Happy shopping,
Alexandra
Friday, November 4, 2011
What's covered in Fur, Leather, and Lace?
What in the world could I want to talk about today with this sort of title? Well, coats. For this winter (and the next) coats with fur, leather, and lace accents are definitely "in" (props to the lovely Nancy for suggesting this subject). This summer at my internship in NYC I compiled a presentation with pictures from designers' winter runway show that illustrated this point. It was used as a presentation for a conference of store managers and top sales associates to show them what was going to be hot for the winter (hah hah). Below are some of my favorite picks for this winter in a variety of styles and colors.
First up, Fabulous (Faux) Fur:
/Edit @ 3:40 pm 11/05/11
Ann Taylor is having a 50% off special on all faux fur! It's like the read my mind! And this coat (with 50% off is $124) with a detachable fur ruff is sooo beautiful I can't believe I missed it:
#1 "Manors and Etiquette" coat from Modcloth @ $189.99. I like this coat a lot as an example of an elegant fur statement that's very feminine without being overwhelming.
#2 is a mega fur statement called "Chevron Stripe Faux Fur Jacket" by a brand called Willow & Clay. It can be found at Nordstrom for $128. I really like this for some reason although it's totally over-the-top, but maybe that's why. It's also 3/4 length sleeves which add a retro touch and keep the fur from totally taking you over.
#3 from Bebe doesn't have a name really, but it makes up for it with a punchy red color and glossy black trim:
First up, Fabulous (Faux) Fur:
/Edit @ 3:40 pm 11/05/11
Ann Taylor is having a 50% off special on all faux fur! It's like the read my mind! And this coat (with 50% off is $124) with a detachable fur ruff is sooo beautiful I can't believe I missed it:
#1 "Manors and Etiquette" coat from Modcloth @ $189.99. I like this coat a lot as an example of an elegant fur statement that's very feminine without being overwhelming.
#3 from Bebe doesn't have a name really, but it makes up for it with a punchy red color and glossy black trim:
I have deliberately not included the ubiquitous fur vest in this post because while I think they are cute, they are totally impractical for more than three weeks of the year in Cambridge, MA and I refuse to advocate for cold arms. Similarly, I refuse to advocate Bear Arms:
"UGH I am SO MAD that they made me go full Chewbaca. This was not what I signed up for!"
Time for leather!
#1 is the "Leather Jacket" from Ann Taylor which I like because it's a nice example of mixing leather and normal fabric without overdoing either. If you want it, I recommend waiting for a sale since it's $398 right now.
#2 is the "Mackage Single-Breasted Coat" from Bloomingdale's. While expensive at $590, it does at least give a good idea of what I'm thinking when I mean leather accents:
#3 is the "Maria Stand Collar Coat" by Via Spiga whose boots were featured already on this blog. Also from Bloomingdale's, this coat is more affordable than the previous at $313 and comes in this color as well as black:
And last but not least, Lace:
#1 is the "Emmett Lace Trench Coat" for $488 by BCBG, which is just shy of being overdone but is still pretty.
Example #2 comes from Asos, which is a great site if you haven't heard of it. It's called the "Wool and Lace Jacket" by LiLee for Asos and it's pretty affordable at $129.38.
#3 I had a hard time finding without caving and showing you Valentino, who basically kicked off this whole trend with a host of fabulous lace coats, because I'm committed to showing you guys things you might actually be able to afford. Unfortunately, attractive lace coats jump to $5000 pretty easily (Valentino). So I've compromised. Here's a Jason Wu for $2550 from Kirna Zabete, which I've never heard of before:
So there are my picks for coats that have nice fur, leather, or lace detail. I'm inspired now after all this hunting for nice coats to make a second post about colorful coats or particularly unique styles. That'll be tomorrow's project.
Happy shopping!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
What are pants? Baby don't hurt me no more...
Hi everyone,
I'm sorry that I didn't post yesterday. Tuesdays are pretty busy for me and I forgot that I had to go sleep in a lab at 10 pm for $$ so I didn't have internet for the night. Apparently though, I am really skilled at taking sensors out of caps on my head while I'm sleeping that are supposed to be reading brainwaves. Who knew?
Today I would like to talk about a subject near and dear to my heart: leggings. Specifically, why leggings are NOT pants, and why you should NOT treat them as such. All that I am about to say also applies to jeggings. To clarify before I begin: I have no problem with leggings under skirts, under shirts that cover your butt, dresses, pants (for warmth), or thick, athletic leggings to exercise in. But leggings as pants IS NOT AND SHOULD NOT be a thing.
Reason #1: THEY ARE SEE-THROUGH
Exhibit A:
/EDIT @ 11:34 am EST
FB conversation with a boy:
The Corollary:
Yes, there are exceptions. Kim Kardashian will always look curvaceous and fit in leggings. She is Kim Kardashian and that is her job. However, leggings are a problem if you are not a celebrity, are not a celebrity who looks like Kim Kardashian, if you have no butt, if you have a really jiggly butt, if you have a big butt and are wearing leggings that are too small so that you get problem #1 (as seen above), if you have panty lines, or if you get a wedgie:
I'm sorry that I didn't post yesterday. Tuesdays are pretty busy for me and I forgot that I had to go sleep in a lab at 10 pm for $$ so I didn't have internet for the night. Apparently though, I am really skilled at taking sensors out of caps on my head while I'm sleeping that are supposed to be reading brainwaves. Who knew?
Today I would like to talk about a subject near and dear to my heart: leggings. Specifically, why leggings are NOT pants, and why you should NOT treat them as such. All that I am about to say also applies to jeggings. To clarify before I begin: I have no problem with leggings under skirts, under shirts that cover your butt, dresses, pants (for warmth), or thick, athletic leggings to exercise in. But leggings as pants IS NOT AND SHOULD NOT be a thing.
Reason #1: THEY ARE SEE-THROUGH
Exhibit A:
Why didn't you just go pantsless? At least make it look like you did it on purpose.
Exhibit B (courtesy of Paris Hilton):
Oh Paris. I don't think anyone is surprised by your lack of underwear anymore. I would just like to point out that it's TOTALLY GROSS to go shopping commando. YOU HAVE TO TRY ON CLOTHES THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY TRIED ON AND WILL IN THE FUTURE. Okay, caption rant done.
If those photos aren't convincing, there's more....
The Corollary: THIS guy is RIGHT behind you!
I can see everything. Everything. Eeeeveeerryyyythiiiiiinggg.....
Okay, so THAT particular guy is probably not right behind you, but men are. So are women, small children, and innocent animals. NONE of these folks/innocent animals need to see your butt, underwear, or cellulite. Guys will take any excuse to check you out, and they do it anyway. They don't need your help to picture you naked! Plus, leggings aren't all that flattering, as you'll see next:
FB conversation with a boy:
Boy:
Me:
Boy:
Me:
Boy: er......it wasn't me!
Reason #2: LEGGINGS ARE UNFLATTERING
Exhibit A:
She probably has a great butt and nice legs. Now she just looks like vacuum-wrapping gone wrong.
Exhibit B (courtesy of Mischa Barton):
Not only does this reveal she has no butt, it also makes her look like she has cankles!
The Corollary:
Yes, there are exceptions. Kim Kardashian will always look curvaceous and fit in leggings. She is Kim Kardashian and that is her job. However, leggings are a problem if you are not a celebrity, are not a celebrity who looks like Kim Kardashian, if you have no butt, if you have a really jiggly butt, if you have a big butt and are wearing leggings that are too small so that you get problem #1 (as seen above), if you have panty lines, or if you get a wedgie:
AHH THERE IS DAYLIGHT BETWEEN NICOLE RICHIE'S BUTT CHEEKS AHHH! Crack kills, people!
Okay. Now, hopefully, you are all ready to wear leggings in any way BUT as pants. Just one last word of advice. Stay away from this kind of godforsaken legging: capri or calf-length.
Did I forget to mention that the only acceptable colors of leggings are black, dark gray, and dark brown?
These hideous capri leggings are unflattering for EVERYONE. They make your calves look big and are just an awkward length with anything. Also if you wear boots, they stick out of the tops of your boots and it just looks bad. STAY AWAY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAY AWAY.
I bet she wishes she hadn't done that. Also, leggings with any sort of pattern are a bad call.
Okay, there you have it. NO LEGGINGS AS PANTS! NO LEGGINGS AS PANTS! NO! BAD! NO! If you don't think these reasons apply to you, that your leggings are never see-through, or that you are like Kim Kardashian, think again. I promise. Got it? Good. Done ranting now, honest.
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